


It's the Same Old Thing As Yesterday

by dr_ducktator



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-04
Updated: 2011-05-04
Packaged: 2017-10-19 00:23:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/194851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dr_ducktator/pseuds/dr_ducktator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after "Spiral," Nathan wakes up as he does every other day, but today the song from his alarm clock gives him pause.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's the Same Old Thing As Yesterday

Nathan’s alarm clock went off, like, well, clockwork, every morning at 6:30. He has one of those semi-complicated contraptions you could set your iPod on so you’d wake up to a random song and not the infernal token alarm-wail that made you jump out of your skin. Nathan has enough issues to deal with, so waking up pissed off was not high on his list of awesome ways to start the day.

He has loads of songs on his iPod, which may surprise some people – he knows he doesn’t come off as a great music aficionado or anything – but the song his iPod has chosen to pull him from dreams of a lanky figure and a cracked ship is way too perfect; if by perfect you mean something that makes you moan out an exasperated “Gimme a break” before rolling out of bed.

Today’s selection was “King of Pain,” and while his first thought upon standing and stretching was to reach over and throw the fucking iPod out the fucking window, Nathan let it play. He couldn’t help it; he was a sucker for irony or coincidence or metaphor, or whatever it should be called. He sat back down on his bed and listened, really listened, to the lyrics as he hadn’t done in years.

He’d gone through a phase when he was younger in which he couldn’t get enough of The Police. But he’d gotten tired of them, never not liking them, just sort of being over them. But hearing this song, on this day, was, well, fitting.

Nathan had a whole hell of a lot of shit dumped on him all too recently. He found out his father wasn’t his father and the guy who was his “real” father was swallowed by a massive fucking crack in the pavement, the man who he believed to be his father was now a pile of rubble, Haven was going to hell in a hand basket, and Audrey Parker had some kind of fucking non-doppelganger. The one bright spot, well what most would see as a bright spot in the cluster fuck that had taken over Nathan’s life was that he could feel someone’s touch. But it was Audrey’s touch he could feel, and as grateful as he was to feel anything, even craving her contact and seeking it out, ultimately it wasn’t her touch he longed to feel; it was Duke’s. It was always Duke, despite their rocky past, despite Duke’s penchant for the less than legal, despite everything.

So yeah, the song was too perfect for the turn of events Nathan’s life had taken as of late. It was a song about weird shit, shit that in a normal world would be nigh impossible, but nothing about Haven was normal anymore – that is, if it ever had been.

And the kicker of it all for Nathan was that he had this disorder, this “Trouble” that kept him from experiencing any kind of physical sensations aside from whatever he got from Audrey. He can’t feel pain. But he does. He feels it acutely; he’s a fucking emotional wreck which he’s able to mask only with the bitchy countenance he sports daily.

He’d give anything to turn the pain inside out, to make the utter torment he suffers daily on the inside manifest itself on the outside; he’d happily lose a limb in some horrifically painful manner if it meant he could numb himself internally. But he can’t change things. He just has to move forward, let the pieces fall where they may, do his fucking job, deal with life.

As the song winds down, Nathan stares out the window of his bedroom; he can see the ocean in the distance and thinks of Duke. Sighing heavily and scrubbing his hands over his face, he allows himself to succumb to the powerful urge to feel overwhelmingly sorry for himself. He walks into the bathroom and turns on the light. He stares at himself in the mirror, and as he mouths “I’ll always be King of Pain” along with the last line of the song, he can’t help but think that’s the only truth of which he is certain.


End file.
